Session transcript

Stop Re-Deciding Yourself: The One Decision That Helps You Speak Up, Ask Clearly, and Move Forward

with Kim Groshek · Day 1 · The Invisible Load

Hi, I'm Kim Groshek, and today I want to show you something that took me a while to understand. When you feel overwhelmed, you usually don't need more information. You don't need a longer list, and you don't need a perfect plan. You need one clear next step.

That sounds simple. But when your mind is holding ten choices, 20 unfinished tasks, three things you forgot, and five things you're afraid you might forget, choosing one next step can feel almost impossible.

Maybe you've stood in the middle of a room and thought, I know I came here to do something. What was it? Maybe you've opened your computer to complete one task, noticed an email, clicked on a link, remembered an appointment, opened your calendar, and 20 minutes later realized you never completed the thing you sat down to do. Or maybe you've had something important on your list for days or even weeks, but every time you think about it, your mind begins showing you all the steps at once, so you avoid it. Then you feel bad because you avoided it. Then the guilt becomes one more thing taking up space in your mind.

If that sounds familiar, I want you to hear this clearly. You're not lazy, and you're not incapable. And you don't need to fix your entire life today. You may simply have too many open decisions competing for your attention.

In the next 30 minutes, I'm going to help you close some of those decisions. I'll teach you a simple tool you can use at work, at home, in your business, with your health, or anytime your mind feels crowded. It's called See, Decide, Do, Movement. By the end of our time together, you will be able to take one place where you feel stuck and turn it into one clear next step. You don't have to do everything. You only have to decide what comes next.

I learned this lesson in a very real way through endurance sports. I've competed in an Ironman, and when you think about the whole event at once, the swim, the bike ride, and then the marathon, it can feel overwhelming before you even begin. If I stood at the start of the swim thinking about every mile still ahead of me, my mind could quickly jump to all the things that might go wrong. Can I really finish this? What if I get tired? What if the weather changes? What if something hurts? What if I can't make it all the way?

But I did not need to complete the entire Ironman while I was standing at the starting line. During the swim, I only needed to get to the next buoy. That buoy gave me one place to look, one direction to move, one next step. Then when I reached it, I could look for the next one. The entire distance was still there. I was not pretending it was easy, and I was not ignoring what was ahead. I was simply refusing to carry the whole race in one moment.

That's what overwhelm asks us to do. It asks us to carry the whole race at once: the entire project, the whole week, every task, every choice, and every possible outcome. You don't have to carry the whole race right now. You only need to find your next buoy. That's what one clear decision can become: a place to direct your attention so you can move again.

Before I show you the tool, I want to talk about three myths that can make overwhelm worse.

Myth number one: I need to get more organized. Organization can help. Calendars, planners, apps, reminders, sticky notes, and checklists can all be useful, but a new system can't make a decision for you. You can have a beautiful planner filled with color-coded tasks and still not know where to begin. You can download another app and spend an hour setting it up, but still avoid the phone call you needed to make. Sometimes organizing becomes one more way to delay deciding the real question. Not always. But instead of asking, how do I organize all of this, the better question may be, what's the one thing that needs my attention right now?

Myth number two: I have to feel ready before I begin. Many of us wait for the right feeling. We think we will begin when we have more energy, more confidence, more time, or a quieter mind. But readiness often comes after movement, not before it. You may not feel ready to make the appointment, but you can find the phone number. You may not feel ready to clean the whole kitchen, but you can put one dish in the dishwasher. You may not feel ready to finish the report, but you can open the document and write one sentence. The first step doesn't have to finish the job. Its purpose is to create movement.

Myth number three: if I can't do it all, there's no point starting. This is an all-or-nothing trap. If you can't work out for an hour, why bother walking for ten minutes? If you can't answer every email, why open the inbox? If you can't clean the entire house, why clear one table? But small does not mean meaningless. Small is often what makes starting possible. One email answered is one less open loop. One appointment scheduled is one less decision following you around. One bag packed tonight can make tomorrow morning easier. You don't need to complete everything to change your direction. You need one action that tells your brain, we have started.

So let's replace those three myths with three truths. You don't need a better system before you can decide. You don't have to feel ready before you begin. And you don't have to finish everything to make meaningful progress.

Why do too many open decisions feel so heavy? Think about all the decisions that may be running quietly in the background of your mind. Should I answer that message? Should I make that appointment? What should we have for dinner? Did I pay the bill? Should I finish the project or start the other one? When am I going to clean that room? What if I choose the wrong thing? What if I forget something important? Each question may feel small by itself, but together they become noise.

I call these open decisions. An open decision is anything your mind keeps revisiting because you haven't yet decided what to do with it. Every open decision asks for a little bit of attention. That's why you can feel tired even when you haven't completed much. Your mind may have been working all day: sorting, remembering, considering, worrying, and switching. Then someone says, just pick one. But which one?

That's where the tool comes in. I'm not going to tell you to try harder. I'm going to give you a simple way to reduce the number of choices in your mind. The four parts are See, Decide, Do, and Movement. Let's walk through them together.

Step one: See. You cannot make a clear decision while everything is swirling around in your head. So before you choose, pause long enough to see what's actually happening. This is not a long pause. You don't have to meditate for 30 minutes. You're simply moving the choices out of your head and putting them where you can see them. You can use paper or a note on your phone. And if the place where you feel stuck is in your business, I'll share a free field guide with you at the end.

Now ask yourself, where am I stuck right now? Don't start with your entire life. Choose one area. Maybe it's your morning. Maybe it's a work project. Maybe it's your health. Maybe it's a conversation you've been avoiding. Maybe it's a room that's become too cluttered to use. Write down the choices that are competing for your attention, and there may be many. For example: I need to call the doctor, refill a prescription, answer two messages, put away the laundry, and finish a form. Now the choices are visible. You don't have to use energy trying to remember all of them.

Next, look at the choices through three simple lenses: time, energy, and money.

The first lens is time. Ask, does one of these have a real deadline, or will it become harder if I wait? Maybe the form is due tomorrow. Maybe the doctor's office closes in 20 minutes. Maybe the bill has a late fee after today. You're not treating every task as equally urgent. You're looking for the one that truly has a time constraint.

The second lens is energy. Ask, what can I honestly do with the energy I have right now? Not the energy you wish you had, and not the energy you had yesterday. The energy you have right now. If your energy is low, cleaning the whole garage is probably not a useful step. But putting the empty boxes by the door may be possible. If you have more focus in the morning, save the task that requires careful thinking for the morning, and use the low-energy times for the simple steps. Working with your energy is not making excuses. It's making a decision based on reality.

The third lens is money. Ask, will delaying one of these choices cost me money or keep money from moving? Maybe you need to pay a bill, submit a reimbursement, cancel a subscription, send an invoice, or respond to a work opportunity. Money is not always the deciding factor, but it can help you see the costs hiding on the list.

So See means: name where you are stuck, get the choices out of your head, and then look at them through time, energy, and money. You're not solving everything yet. You're simply seeing what's real.

Step two: Decide. This is where we choose one. Not forever. Just for now. That part matters. Sometimes making a decision feels frightening because we think choosing one means abandoning everything else. But it doesn't. You're not saying, this is the only thing that will ever matter. You're saying, this is what I will do next.

So ask yourself this question: which choice would create the most relief, reduce the biggest consequence, or make the next step easier? If one task has a firm deadline, that may be the decision. If one task is creating a great deal of worry, closing it may give you relief. If one small action unlocks several other actions, start there.

But what if two choices still seem equal? Use this tiebreaker: which one can I begin in the next few minutes? Not complete, but begin.

This is where people often make the next step too big. "Handle my health" is not a next step. "Find my doctor's phone number" is. "Get my finances under control" is not a next step. "Open the one unpaid bill" is. "Clean the house" is not a next step. "Put all the cups in the sink" is. "Finish the presentation" may still be too large. "Open the slides and write the title" is a clear, doable next step.

A useful next step usually begins with a visible action word: open, call, write, put, find, send, schedule, ask. If your step is vague, make it smaller until you can see yourself doing it. The goal is not to choose the most impressive action. The goal is to choose the action you can actually begin.

Step three: Do. Once you've chosen the next step, protect it from new choices. This is important, because your mind may immediately say, but what about the email? Maybe I should do the laundry first. I should look something up before I begin. Maybe there's a better way to do this. That's the moment to say, not now. This is the decision. You can write the other thoughts on a "not now" list, so you don't have to fear losing them.

Then make starting easier. Put the phone number in front of you. Open only the document you need. Set a 5 or 10 minute timer, and then move the first object. Ask someone to sit with you while you begin. Say the step out loud: I am opening the form now.

You may also use a start line. "When this video ends, I will (fill in the blank)." Or, "At 2:00, I will open the form and complete the first section." The more specific the start is, the less deciding you have to do later.

And remember, doing the next step doesn't always mean doing it alone. Your next step may be asking for help. It may be sending a message that says, I'm stuck. Can you help me identify what comes first? It may be asking someone to remind you, join you, or sit nearby. Asking for support is an action.

Step four: Movement. Movement does not mean you finish everything. Movement means the decision is no longer frozen. You made the call. You opened the bill. You wrote the first sentence. You placed the item by the door. You asked for help. That small action changes the question in your mind. Instead of asking, how will I ever do all of this, you ask, what's the next step from here?

This is how progress is built. Not by solving your entire life in one burst of energy, but by making one decision, and then making the next one. Stuck, one decision, movement. That is the pattern.

Let's do this together right now. If you can, take out a piece of paper or open a blank note on your phone. Think of one place where you currently feel stuck. Not your whole life, just one place. Write this sentence: "I feel stuck about (fill in the blank)."

Now list the choices or tasks competing for your attention. Don't organize them. Just get them out of your head.

Then use the three lenses. Time: where is the real deadline or consequence? Energy: what can you honestly begin with the energy you have? Money: is waiting creating a cost or stopping something important from moving?

Now circle or mark one choice. Remember, you're not choosing it forever. You're choosing it for now. Turn it into a small, visible action, something that begins with a word like open, call, write, find, send, schedule, put, or ask. Finish this sentence: "My one next step is (fill in the blank)."

Now decide when you'll begin. "When (fill in the blank), I will (fill in the blank)." For example, "When this video ends, I will call the pharmacy." Or, "At 4:00, I will open the form and complete the first question." That's your decision. The other things have not disappeared, but they don't all get to be first.

Let's bring this together. When too many choices are competing for your attention, use four steps.

See: get the choices out of your head, and look at what's real through time, energy, and money.

Decide: choose the one thing that will create relief, reduce a consequence, or make the next step easier.

Do: make the step small, specific, and easy to begin. Protect it from the other choices.

Movement: notice that you're no longer stuck. Then choose the next step from there.

You don't have to complete your whole list today, and you don't have to make the perfect decision. You don't even have to wait until your mind is quiet or your energy is high. You only need one decision that creates movement.

And if the place where you feel stuck is in your business, I created something to help you take this process one step further. It's a free 10 to 15 page guide called the One Decision Field Guide: find the one decision keeping your business stuck and know what to do next. This is not another long business plan. It's a practical guide that will help you identify the decision that's holding up your progress, understand why it matters, and choose what to do next. Use the link provided with the presentation to get your free copy of the One Decision Field Guide. Then take the decision you identified today and use the guide to move it forward in your business.

The next time your mind says, I have too much to do, pause and ask, what is my one next step? Not the ten next steps, and not the perfect plan. Just one. Because you don't need another plan. You need one decision.

I'm Kim Groshek. Thank you for spending this time with me. I hope you leave today with less pressure, more clarity, and one next step you know you can take.